My conversation with Ron Burgundy

Although I wish I could meet Ron Burgundy it remains a dream. I am still not sure if he is real but I still want to talk to him. Our conversation would probably go a little like,



"Hi Ron, my name is Rishi"
"Give me your pen"
"Huh?"
"You want an autograph right."
"I will take one but I am here to tell you that I loved your book."
"It was pretty great, almost as great as my hair but we all know that is not possible."
"Who's we, I am the only one here."
"Well the paparazzi is always after me so you never know when a camera pops up"
"Ok, so let's talk about your book now."
"I like your mustache"
"What, I have no mustache."
"I was talking to the guy behind you"
"There is no one behind me."
"Is this magic, do it again Reeses, do it again."
"My name is Rishi"
"Are you sure, you look more like Reeses."
"How can someone look like candy Ron, come on, focus."
"Sometimes Baxter looks like a candy dog."



This is a little on how our conversation would go. As you can see Ron get's off topic a lot. As you can also see he thinks he is better than everyone, and is super popular. Ron is full of himself and always think's his views are more important. He will say whatever comes to his mind. He also thinks that everything he does is the best even when he writes a book. If this conversation went on Ron would continue talking about himself, and all his opinions.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWHFQ4t9wYI
This is a link to a video from Run Burgundy about his book. In this video you can see how Ron Burgundy often get's off topic, and start's talking about himself and how he is very good at thing's like writing books.

A Letter to Ron Burgundy

Dear Mr. Ron Burgundy,


Your book Let me Off At The Top is one of my favorite books. I was not always sure if you were real or not but because you wrote this book I guess you are. Your book is definitely amusing as you said on the cover. Every single time I need a laugh I read a little more. There is only one bad thing about your book. I do not want to hate, but I can't help but let you know about this. You have had such an adventurous life that sometimes I get confused whether you are being sarcastic or serious. Don't get me wrong here. This is probably the funniest book I have read (and I have read all the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, just kidding I have not read the most recent one) and I love that about it. It is just that I get confused sometimes. If someone else wrote it I would understand how it is sarcastic, but I have seen one of your movies and can totally see you doing those things. For example you say," I sat motionless for about an hour and then went back inside." If someone else wrote this book I would immediately know it is a hyperbole, but you wrote it and I can totally see you doing this. That is all I have to say. Just make your jokes a little more clear that they are jokes, so no one takes it seriously as it could lead to confusion. However, overall I love your book. Thanks for writing such a great book.





Sincerely,


Rishi Ambani

Answer to the Voice Questions

Question 3

The piece Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson was the piece which I viewed created the most intricate sensory experience. One line which I viewed as an intricate sensory experience from Speak was, "My contact folds in half under my eyelid. Tears well in my right eye." This really gives me something to picture in my head, and there are many other great examples of imagery in Speak. 

 

Question 6

In the first passage there are actually 2 types of tones. One is playfulness as in the beginning all the kids are messing around and having a good time. The second one is shown more towards the end of the piece, and it is harsh. Towards the end of the story the new teacher is very harsh to the students causing all the students to follow exactly what she says.

In the second passage the tone is anxious. Throughout the whole passage the main character is feeling anxious as she has nowhere to go. She is inside the bathroom with a girl who is threatening her and she can't even leave as outside her teacher his monitoring the hallways and she skipped that teacher's class. Due to her having nowhere to go she is stuck and very anxious.

Question7
The voice in my creative non-fiction piece is used to inform the readers on my view of the topic. It also allows the reader something to relate to and some things to laugh at. Some purposeful choices which I have made to my piece include personal experiences. These allow the reader with something to relate though. Another thing is humor, this makes the reader went to read my piece more. Overall I think this is adding strength to my article.

Column Mimic

Rishi Ambani

Mrs.Cronin

Column Mimic

05 May 2014

A Message to my Fellow Ballers

In the style of, “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on young.”

I know most of us can’t wait to get on stage wearing the hat of your favorite basketball team. The realization that you have gotten drafted is unreal, that’s because for most of us it is. For those of you though who plan to get drafted, I have some advice. I know most of my fellow, so called, “Ballers,” are often found saying, “Yo, I am going to be the next LeBron.” Well for you so called, “Ballers,” I have a couple words of advice.

Sunscreen.

If you do ever go pro you need to look good for the camera. What do most NBA players have?  No, they don’t have skill. They are just kids who have an excessive amount of tattoos and people who think they look good. To help you look good you need to use your sunscreen. You might spend a couple of hours working on your jump shot, and you don’t want to get darker and darker.  Wear sunscreen and keep your radiant complexion in-tact. I can’t help you with the tattoo thing, but just wear your sunscreen. Even if you miss the game winning layup, you will keep on getting fans and money, as long as your skin shines as bright as your Ferrari.

Flopping Skills.

Everyone wants to be the king, and what is he known for? No, he is not known for his game winning buzzer beaters.  If you ever go and watch a Miami Heat game you will see the king go to work by flopping, flopping, and oh yeah did I mention flopping?  It has an uncanny resemblance to fish out of water. If you do go to the game, don’t forget to take your fishing poll. You might be able to catch the 200+ pound, 6’9 LeBron fish.  Don’t forget your frying pan, if the fish is caught, fish sticks could be served to everyone in the arena.

Confidence.

LeBron is almost as good as me in basketball, so I can honestly tell you that the most important thing needed to be like him is confidence. Do this. Look in the mirror, tell yourself this, “You are the most handsome guy ever, you have so much skill, you are practically the Beyoncé of basketball.” Tell yourself that for 30 minutes straight every day for a year. Trust me; the skill will just come to you. I tried this drill and now I can dunk on a 7’5 hoop. Thinking that I am 4’11 with tiny arms, I am pretty sure I got the LeBron vertical down.

If you so called, “Ballers,” out there read this to hopefully become the next LeBron. I can’t guarantee anything except for the fact that you wasted about 5 minutes of your life reading this. Instead you could have gone outside and worked on your jump shot. I am not saying this is not helpful advice, I am just saying your dream is bad. No, no, don’t get me wrong here. It’s not bad that you want to be a great basketball player; in fact I support you all the way. It is bad that you are chasing the dream of becoming the next LeBron James, and that is not possible. You can have as much skill as you need but you will not become the next LeBron James, you will stay who you are. If you are Billy Bob, boy I could win a million dollars on the bet that you will remain Billy Bob even after you become the best basketball player ever. Don’t chase after the hopes to be someone you will never be, chase your dream to be the best at whatever you want to be.